Four Knots to Nowhere contains the recollections and current experiences of the life of an active duty Missile Technician, currently stationed on Shore Duty at the Naval Ordnance Test Unit, Cape Canaveral, FL.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

USMC Birthday Luncheon

Just got back from the USMC Birthday luncheon. Got a copy of the latest press release.

Semper Fi,

****Press Release****

President Bush may send up to 5 Marines for French Military assistance. President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France's ass out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers, President Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little pissants. "Hell, if the two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now." said President Bush.

Joint Chiefs Chairman Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 Marines to get things under control. The General admitted that 5 Marines may be overkill, but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one Marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women Marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our Marines out of there as soon as possible after the order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the Marines did not takes soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The less they stand out the better.


Anonymous JP said...

Did you write that press release? It's fucking hilarios. If you wrote it, I'd love to repost it on, with reference to you, of course...

Saturday, November 12, 2005 11:01:00 AM


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